By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit

Exile in Happy Valley

We came pretty damn close to losing the finest democracy that slaves can build this election cycle but all the woke folk seem to be enjoying a collective sigh of relief as the better angels of our nature slowly unclench their sphincters.

The second reign of the Orange Duce appeared to be a forgone conclusion when the DNC’s insane conspiracy to defeat him with a barely reanimated Dixiecrat went up in smoke at the first debate after FrankenBiden’s head fell off on live television. Things only went from bad to worse when some incel with an AR shot off the Donald’s ear and that sociopathic showmen galvanized the remaining incel vote by immediately grabbing his crotch and pounding his chest for the cameras like Conan the Barbarian.

In this hallucinogenic minefield of a late capitalist presidential election circus, not only did Donald Trump’s biblical reascension seem likely, it was looking downright inevitable, and while very little of this batshit pageantry managed to move my jaded genderfuck heart more than an inch in any one direction, a lot of my girlfriends, both trans and cis, were getting pretty bummed.

But never fear fellow marginalized people, Kamala the caramel avenger is here to save us all from Satan’s powers, and the MAGA maniacs are running scared. With her carefully choreographed stadium tour of star-studded blowouts complete with dance marathons and teleprompter recitations of Hopelandish gobbledygook, Kamala Harris seems to be selling herself as a Barack Obama style messiah and the public appears to be just desperate enough to get fooled again.

The Republicans, for their part, seem to be reprising their circa-2008 roles as well, dusting off Tea Party era tropes about crazed Black Marxists queering your kids with open borders and free healthcare. These pea-brained hummunculoids don’t seem to grasp the fact that these tired hysterics just play directly into the Democratic party’s hands by creating the illusion that Kamala is something different enough from the mainstream to make old white guys shit their Depends.

Needless to say, my girlfriends are sold, leaving me once again in the treacherous position of having to slap some goddamn sense into them, and please believe me when I tell you that this hurts me far worse than it hurts you.

You see, sweet babies, Kamala Harris is neither an inspirational angel of mercy in very mean times nor a wild-eyed Black lesbian communist. To be perfectly honest with you, the latter actually sounds a lot more like the kind of chick I could split a spliff with, but both of these narratives are equally bogus, and it really doesn’t take a tenured professor of political science to tell you who the real Kamala Harris is.

The sharper kids in Black Lives Matter actually put it best during that woman’s last presidential run in 2020. Kamala is a cop. She may have spent one term in the Senate as a squishy feel-good progressive and one primary kissing up to a country still reeling from the George Floyd Uprisings, but Officer Harris spent thirty years as a loyal power broker for the prison industrial complex and that record speaks for itself.

Starting as an intern for the Almeda County DA in the late eighties and working her way up the ladder of California’s heinously corrupt police state to serve lengthy tours as both the District Attorney of San Francisco and Attorney General of California, Kamala’s jacket reads like something Popeye Doyle would jack off to between hate crimes. Even back then, Kamala would campaign as some kind of progressive but the moment she successfully suckered the hippies into voting for her again she would trample over every campaign promise she made and start cracking skulls.

Rhetoric aside, Kamala Harris worked her frosty ass off turning the Golden State into a racist gulag archipelago. She never once failed to fight ferociously for stiffer sentences, heftier bail requirements and longer prison terms, all too often for rinky-dink offenses like petty theft, panhandling, prostitution, graffiti, vagrancy, loitering and especially non-violent drug offenses.

She oversaw California’s notoriously racist three strikes law, instituted mandatory minimums for misdemeanor gun charges, worked to shutter drug courts and defended the sanctity of the gas chamber. All of these putrid positions disproportionately crushed Black and brown people, but Harris seemed to display a particular zeal for harassing children and Queer folk, and I cannot pretend, as a genderqueer survivor of institutional child abuse, that this record doesn’t hurt me the most, especially since I spend so much goddamn time explaining to people I love why I despise their new fucking savior even more than the tranny-bashing hicks do.

School is hell when you’re different and California’s massive industrial school system is notorious for being no exception to this rule. This is the real reason why the state has a motherfucker of a time keeping kids from skipping class. As both a DA and an AG, Kamala Harris went out of her way to use the police state to fix this problem, first with a $450,000 anti-truancy initiative in San Francisco launched with then-mayor Gavin Newsom and then with a statewide program that literally made it a criminal misdemeanor just to be the parent of a truant child.

Mind you, California defines a truant as any child more than thirty minutes late to class without an approved excuse on more than two occasions. Based on personal experience, I am going to take a wild guess that an outsized portion of California’s truants are probably trans kids dodging bullies, but in the Golden State, Kamala Harris was the ultimate bully, a mean girl with a badge and an army of child wrangling gestapo at her disposal.

Harris further targeted her state’s Queer community with her long running jihad against sex workers. She often bills herself as a reformer by advocating for policies that target johns and pimps over prostitutes, but these policies are little more than a bait-and-switch and Kamala made this painfully clear when she opposed San Francisco’s efforts to decriminalize sex work despite the fact that they received the full support of her own party and most of her constituency. Instead, District Attorney Harris stepped up the heat by increasing police raids on her city’s massage parlors and ramping up stings on immigrant communities in a blatant fit of racial profiling against the Bay Area’s Asian community.

Kamala Harris would also lead the charge on using the boogeyman of human trafficking to suck the federal government into her crusade with legally redundant legislation that led to nearly zero prosecutions for trafficking but fed legions of mostly Black and brown transwomen to the prison industrial complex for the mortal sin of trading sex for survival. And once these women found themselves trapped behind Kamala’s walls, what few rights they maintained on the outside evaporated.

Few cases make this harsh truth and the despotic shape of Kamala’s true character more revoltingly clear than that of Michelle Norsworthy, a transwoman incarcerated in California State Prison who sued the state for denying her access to medically necessary surgical treatment. Not only did Kamala-the-ally defend the state’s denial of treatment but she continued to appeal decisions in Norsworthy’s favor even after she became increasingly suicidal, even suggesting callously in a brief that she should just seek therapy instead.

This is the real Kamala Harris, a duplicitous, double speaking, snake who speaks fluent progressive and then uses any influence she can grasp to juice the police state that made her a millionaire, and she continued this twisted MO well into her tenure as the second most liberal senator in Washington. Kamala was a leading force behind FOSTA-SESTA, a gargantuan prison industrial boondoggle that made it a felony to simply advertise sex work online. She also further pulverized Queer kids as a vocal supporter of the Kids Online Safety Act, which empowered tech giants to silence online speech deemed to be too adult for anyone under 18.

Long story short, this woman is nothing less than a menace to civil liberties in this country but neither side will call her out on it because the truth is an inconvenience to both of their delusional narratives.

The Democrats are terrified that their voters will figure out that they’re still the same fucking racists they were when Joe Biden was still vital enough to commit sexual assault. They only use identity politics to protect their precious police state from the only thing about Donald Trump that truly threatens them and that’s poor management.

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