Jews are are the richest and most powerful people on earth by a virtually unbelievable margin. However, we can’t let that distract us from the fact that they are also somehow the most oppressed people on earth.

In a shocking and confounding twist, the degree to which they are oppressed is equal to the degree of their overwhelming wealth and influence.

We need to give them all kinds of special rights to prevent them from being oppressed even further. For example, we all have to chip in and pay for special police to protect them everywhere they go. Because they are so extraordinarily wealthy, they could simply pay for their own special police protection, but it would be an atrocity to make oppressed people pay for their own protection from oppression.

If any of this confuses you, I refer you to the Jewish-owned media for further information.

New York Post:

Petrified Columbia University students who have felt “harassed and intimidated” by anti-Israel protests which have gripped their college and disrupted learning for months will be provided safety escorts on campus.

The move is part of a settlement in a lawsuit filed on Tuesday in Manhattan federal court, where the Ivy League school will now offer “walking escorts” across campus and appoint a “safe passage liaison” to address any students concerns over protests.

This means that every Jew is going to have a special cop following them around on campus, making sure someone doesn’t say something mean to them.

It’s the least we can do for a people that are this oppressed. Can you even imagine if you went somewhere and someone said something mean to you?

Sorry, but unless you’re Jewish, you have no idea what it feels like if someone says something mean to you.

Additionally, accommodations will be made for students who were displaced by the protests and couldn’t finish exams or assignments.

It resolves a proposed class action filed by a female Jewish student referred to as C.S. who claimed making students take online classes in response to protests showed how “dangerous” campus had become.

“This settlement sets the bar for how Columbia must protect its students,” Jay Edelson, a lawyer for C.S., said in a statement on Tuesday.

I can’t find any numbers as to how much it is going to cost to have a special cop escort every Jew around campus. But there are definitely a lot of Jews at Columbia.

Columbia University students rebuild the solidarity camp for Palestine after being suppressed by the US police and dispersing their sit-in. pic.twitter.com/TrUxwHCQqX

— PALESTINE ONLINE