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Pope Urges Europeans to Bend Over, Grab Their Ankles, and Let the Boat People In

Pope Francis is the first pontiff who was born and raised outside of Europe since 741 AD. He helms the Catholic Church, whose ranks, according to 2010 statistics, are composed of a mere 32% of people who live in Europe and North America. The Caucasian Quotient dips even lower when one considers that about 20 million Catholics in the United States are “Latino.”

When speaking before Congress in 2015, Pope Frankie urged its members to permit even more People of the Bean to venture northward into the USA:

Nonetheless, when the stranger in our midst appeals to us, we must not repeat the sins and the errors of the past. . . . On this continent, too, thousands of persons are led to travel north in search of a better life for themselves and for their loved ones, in search of greater opportunities. Is this not what we want for our own children? We must not be taken aback by their numbers, but rather view them as persons, seeing their faces and listening to their stories, trying to respond as best we can to their situation.

On Saturday in Marseille, he told Europe’s governments to rid themselves of “belligerent nationalisms” and allow the boat people to darken their shores:

There is a cry of pain that resonates most of all, and it is turning the Mediterranean, our sea, from the cradle of civilization into the sea of death, the graveyard of dignity: it is the stifled cry of migrant brothers and sisters.

Never mind the cries of pain of all the native Europeans who are getting raped, murdered, and displaced. And pay no heed to the fact that the boat monkeys coming northward from Africa are likely to be Muslim rather than Catholic. Francis likes to be filmed washing Muslim migrants’ feet. He’s kinky that way.

Howard Stern Says, “I Am Woke, Motherfucker!”; Trump Calls Stern a “Broken Weirdo”

Although his written comedic sketches were always dumb and awful, there was a time in the 1980s when I thought Howard Stern was the sharpest interviewer in the world. He had a nonpareil ability to immediately detect someone’s psychological weakness and then dig into it like a worm boring into an apple. Within moments, he’d have his target either laughing at themselves or getting defensive, which resulted in everyone else laughing at them. People roundly condemned him as a racist, sexist, fag-bashing hatemonger back when such terms weren’t nearly as career-destroying as they are now. He was hungry, lean, and more adept than anyone else at skewering the vain hypocrisy of the rich and famous.

And then he got rich and famous.

At some point in the early 2000s he began seeing a therapist while going through a public divorce with his first wife, whom he met long before he became rich and famous. The therapist apparently convinced Stern that he was a “narcissist.” Since that revelation, Stern has been every bit as self-absorbed as he ever was, but with a new sheen of progressive sanctimony that the old Stern would have viciously lampooned.

Although he used to gleefully pal around with Donald Trump on his old radio show, Stern made a very public display of distancing himself from Trump after he became president. A lifelong germaphobe, Stern has apparently been vaccinated against COVID-19 multiple times and said in 2021 that anti-vaxxers should be denied hospital care if they fall ill from the alleged virus.

On Monday’s edition of his show, Stern shot back at those who claim he lost his edge due to being “woke”:

I hear that a lot that I’m not good anymore because I’m woke. By the way, I kind of take that as a compliment that I’m woke. I’ll tell you how I feel about it. To me the opposite of woke, is being asleep. And if woke means I can’t get behind Trump, which is what I think it means, or that I support people who want to be transgender or I’m for the vaccine, dude call me woke as you fucking want. . . . I’m not for stupidity, you know. I ran out Friday morning. I was over at CVS. Thank you, CVS. I went over there 9 a.m. and got myself that new vaccine for Covid. Fucking science. This fucking country is so great. . . . I am woke, motherfucker, and I love it. I want to be awake. I want to read legitimate news sources. Here’s how woke I am. I believe the election was not rigged. . . . I am woke. I think that’s a compliment.

Trump, who is at this point a far more effective comedian than Stern, returned fire on his Truth Social account:

The real Howard Stern is a weak, pathetic, and disloyal guy, who lost his friends and MUCH of his audience. Until just recently, I haven’t heard his name mentioned in years. I did his show many times in the good old days, and then he went Woke, and nobody cares about him any longer. I don’t know what they (really!) pay him, but it shouldn’t be much. His influence is gone, and without that, he’s got NOTHING — Just a broken weirdo, unattractive both inside and out, trying like hell to be relevant!

According to a Washington Post-ABC News poll from September 15-20, Trump leads Biden by ten points in a hypothetical rematch of the 2020 election.

Muslim Comic Admits to Lying About Racist Abuse While Maintaining that His Fables Contained “Emotional Truths”

Unlike Islam, Hinduism is a religion that originated in the Indian subcontinent. Some have estimated that Islamic slaughters of Hindus account for “the biggest holocaust in world history,” killing up to 300 or 400 million dotheads over the centuries.

But because Hinduism is essentially more pluralistic and tolerant of other belief systems than Islam is, the nation of India kept allowing Muslims to live in their country even after India was partitioned in 1947 to allow for the Islamic state of Pakistan.

The United States is likewise perhaps a bit too tolerant for its own good, seeing as how it allowed American-born comedian Hasan Minhaj’s parents to immigrate here from Uttar Pradesh in India.

Minhaj has thanked America for its tolerance by becoming a fabulist comedian who fabricates stories of racist treatment at the hands of Americans.

There are at least three stories he’s presented as autobiographical over the years that have turned out to be completely fraudulent:

One is the title story of his 2017 Netflix special Homecoming King. He speaks of a white girl whom he fancied and whom he says accepted his invitation to the prom. He says that her parents knew of their fledgling romance but put the kibosh on her going to the prom with him:

I’d eaten off their plates. I’d kissed their daughter. I didn’t know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you.

Minhaj said in his routine that on the night he showed up at the girl’s doorstep to take her to the prom, he was humiliated at the sight of a white boy putting a corsage on the girl’s wrist.

It turned out that the story was untrue.

Minhaj had shared enough identifying details of the girl that as a result of his Netflix special, she received multiple online threats. Rather than apologizing to her, he urged her to erase her social-media presence to protect herself.

Minhaj told another tall tale in his 2022 Netflix standup special The King’s Jester. He said that while growing up in Sacramento in 2002, a musclebound white man who referred to himself as “Brother Eric” infiltrated the local mosque that Minhaj’s family attended and tried to ingratiate himself with his family. Minhaj said he had the man pegged as an FBI informant from the get-go. When “Brother Eric” started asking Minhaj and his friends to talk about jihad, Minhaj said he made a joke about wanting to get his pilot license, which swiftly led to FBI agents slamming him against the hood of a car.

In his routine, Minhaj says that years later there was a TV news report about “Brother Eric” that confirmed his suspicions. As he told the story, images flashed on a screen behind him from Al Jazeera reports about Craig Monteilh, a white personal trainer and confirmed FBI informant who’d infiltrated mosques in Southern California around 2006.

Monteilh was interviewed in a recent New Yorker profile about Minhaj’s fabrications. Monteilh said he was imprisoned in 2002 and didn’t start FBI counterterrorism activities until 2006 — and only in Southern California. “I have no idea why he would do that,” said Monteilh, who apparently has never even met the brown-skinned comedian. But it’s pretty clear that Minhaj had heard the story of Monteilh and decided to pretend that he and his family had been victimized by him.

The third story — there are possibly more, but three have been confirmed — of Minhaj lying about persecution at the hands of the bigoted and intolerant

Americans who’d allowed his family into the country involves a bit he did on his Netflix series Patriot Act where he said he received a letter containing white powder, which was accidentally spilled upon his young daughter. He says he rushed her to the hospital fearing she’d been exposed to anthrax. He claims that hospital officials said the substance wasn’t anthrax, but later that night his wife, who was pregnant with their second child, told him:

You get to say whatever you want onstage, and we have to live with the consequences. I don’t give a shit that Time magazine thinks you’re an “influencer.” If you ever put my kids in danger again, I will leave you in a second.

According to the New Yorker profile:

The New York Police Department, which investigates incidents of possible Bacillus anthracis, has no record of an incident like the one Minhaj describes, nor do area hospitals. Front-desk and mailroom employees at Minhaj’s former residence don’t remember such an incident, nor do Patriot Act employees involved with the show’s security or Minhaj’s security guard from the time. . . . During our conversation, Minhaj admitted that his daughter had never been exposed to a white powder, and that she hadn’t been hospitalized.

But Minhaj defended the fabrications anyway:

Every story in my style is built around a seed of truth. . . . My comedy . . . is seventy per cent emotional truth — this happened — and then thirty per cent hyperbole, exaggeration, fiction.

I suggest that hate-crime hoaxes — even if they aren’t reported to the police but are instead disseminated through the mass media — —should be punished with the death penalty.

Black Couple Blames Imaginary “White Couple” for Running Over Their Two-Year-Old Son

Speaking of hate-crime hoaxes, a black couple in Wichita Falls, Texas is facing charges for providing false police reports in connection with an incident that happened on Valentine’s Day.

As far as I’m able to piece together the story from news reports, 31-year-old Thomas Gates was backing out of his father’s driveway in his car, which also contained two underage passengers, when he heard a loud “thump.” He got out and realized that he’d just run backwards into his two-year-old son who, for some reason, was running around unsupervised. He then rushed the child to the hospital, ignoring stop signs and traffic lights while flashing his hazard signals.

When stopped by police, Gates explained to them that an unknown white couple had slammed into his child in the parking lot of their apartment complex. The police then provided an escort to the hospital, where the child was found to have had “life-threatening internal injuries, burns, and a lacerated liver.”

When police interviewed the injured boy’s mother, 30-year-old Shelby Martinez, her story was similar to Gates’ but differed in identifiable ways. When they confronted Martinez about the disparities, she allegedly got all uppity and belligerent, as fat black women are wont to do.

When they told Gates about the inconsistencies, he apologized, admitted he’d run over his own child, and said that he was originally scared and made up the “white couple” story on the spot.

Police also interviewed the child’s grandfather, who says that the paternal hit-and-run occurred in his driveway rather than the apartment-complex parking lot where Gates and Martinez said it happened.

Gates was arrested in July for providing false information to police. Martinez was arrested last Sunday.

It’s bad enough to let your two-year-old son run around outside unsupervised to the point where you run over him while backing out of a driveway. I mean, it’s gauche. Déclassé. But blaming a “made up white couple” for the crime of child endangerment is unforgivable.

By the way — neither parent has been charged with child endangerment.

Black Oregon Mom Gets 30 Days in Jail for Waterboarding Her Infant Son and Putting It in the Freezer

While we’re on the subject of black parents being undercharged for crimes against their own children, a certain “Sharday McDonald” who hails from the Portland suburb of Gresham has received a draconian sentence of 30 whole days and nights in the county slammer for the crime of waterboarding her infant son and then placing him in the freezer of her apartment — none of which she denies.

(By the way, yes, the child was a male, but I thought it was funny to refer to him as “it” in the headline.)

According to a police report, on October 28, 2021 — yes, it’s taken nearly two years to adjudicate the case — police were called to her apartment after having received a tip that she’d placed the baby boy in the freezer. When they arrived at her apartment, they heard her screaming at the boy’s father, Kendrick Neal:

I’m about to show you real quick. You don’t want him? Let me show you about this little fucking baby, I don’t fucking give [a] fuck about.

According to one officer who arrived at the scene, pictures that either McDonald or Neal had taken and that were entered into evidence showed that

[i]t looked like [the baby] was trying to hold his breath while water was pouring over his face. . . . [McDonald] was holding [the baby] by the onesie but at a downward angel [sic], where his hip, legs and feet were higher than his head (almost upside down) with water running over his face. The only place the water could go (in that picture) was in his nose (at that angle).

An officer said that while he was taking McDonald to jail, she admitted she’d waterboarded the baby and stuffed him in the freezer “out of spite” and as a “test” to see if Mr. Neal “gave a fuck at all.”

Oh, well, that sounds reasonable.

There is no evidence that McDonald has been denied any custody privileges regarding the child whom she held “almost upside down” and into whose large black baby nostrils she poured water before stuffing it into a freezer. Rather than being charged with attempted murder, she pled guilty to criminal mistreatment, ID theft, and tampering with a witness.

I lived in Oregon back when the overwhelmingly white population lamented its lack of diversity. Well, they got what they wanted.

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