1,049 words

Now here’s a picture that tells you all you need to know about our current situation.

Biden and Bibi look like they were dressed by the same mother.

Back in the day, the saying on Wall Street was “Think Yiddish, Dress British”: i.e., have some class, or at least some taste. The strivers like Gordon Gekko were a bit “out there” — I remember the colorful suspender fetishism — but still look like Beau Brummel compared to these slobs.

Jews dressed like WASPs — i.e., nicely — as long as they were slowly taking over. In fact, when I first felt the need to begin dressing like an adult — having somehow acquired a relatively high-level tech job with the local bar association right out of graduate school — my real-life mentor in all things pertaining to male fashion was a fellow graduate of more advanced tastes, and of the Jewish persuasion.[1]

Now that they run everything, they’ve reverted to their real, inner slob, as one does when dressing down after a hard day at the office, while on the weekend or vacation, or when retired and living off the proceeds.[2]

Of course, the really rich — at least the Old Money ones — have always cocked a snoot at the bourgeoise by dressing shabbily, but the “go to Hell” clothes, however soiled, darned, and patched up, always revealed their pricey origins.[3] Fred Astaire had a less extreme method: legend has it he’d take suits fresh from the dry cleaners, ball them up, and throw them in the corner of his bedroom; a bespoke suit would then look perfect on him.[4]

Even gangsters used to dress well, or at least with some swank.[5] I suppose in a sense they too have arrived, since the Jews are effectively gangsters anyway, moving in and taking over established businesses and running them into the ground.[6] So instead of John Gotti, we have slobs in track suits sitting around the Bada Bing club.

I suppose the hellish climate of Israel — along with Miami Beach and Beverly Hills — leads to the tie-less look, especially with the collar spread over the lapels, like some Israeli politician, which was always promoted over here as a kind of faux “common man” or “not uptight” look, of course, along with “business casual.” The blue blazer and open-collared blue shirt combo is about as “dressed up” as these mooks can get.

Things could be worse; now we have Zelensky, who addresses Congress in a t-shirt.

I’ll say one thing for the “black hats” (Orthodox) in Israel: Their ancestors, like their Anglosphere cousins, imitated the dress of the elite — in their case, Polish merchants. But being tradition-minded, they’ve kept it up even in Israel: fur hats, black frock coats, shirts buttoned to the neck, etc. Now that’s dedication.

Still, they look like dorks, as Tarantino would say, compared to the dignified, authentic desert garb of the Arabs. Hell, even Yasir Arafat looked distinguished compared to these guys.[7]

Perhaps this is also the motive behind that very Jewish and subversive (but I repeat myself) genre of film comedy explicitly known as “Slobs vs. Snobs.”

Animal House shows us preppy but dorky Tim Hulce tempted not so much by the angel and devil on his shoulder during the date rape scene, but by the choice of whether to join — or at least align himself with, since they won’t have him anyway — the “Nazi” fraternity, or complete his slide into the gutter by joining Delta House.[8]

Caddyshack presents this trope in an even purer form, with iconic performances by Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield as the WASP Prick and (implicitly) Jewish Slob, fighting for the soul of the Irish striver.[9]

How long before dressing well becomes a sign of “anti-Semitism”? Is Brooks Brothers a vector of radicalization? Perhaps that’s that why Charlottesville still sticks in their craw even today? Which was more triggering: the torches, or the well-pressed polo shirts tucked into nice khakis?

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Notes

[1] This coincided with the publishing of Paul Fussell’s Class: A Guide Through the American Class System (New York: Summit Books, 1983) and (I admit) The Official Preppy Handbook (Lisa Birnbach, ed. New York: Workman Publishing, 1980); my study of these was supplemented by our visits to the long-gone and lamented Steeplechase haberdashery in Ann Arbor; by lucky happenstance, Brooks Brothers was headquartered in the same building as my office. See Margo Metroland’s reviews here and here; and here’s her review of The Yuppie Handbook for good measure.

[2] “I am a retired investor on a pension, and I wished to live [in Israel] as a Jew in the twilight of my life.” — Hyman Roth, Godfather II.

[3] “It’s only the upper class that would have tat like that that . . . It’s the whole point!” Fawlty Towers, Season 1, Episode 1, “A Touch of Class.”

[4] As G. Bruce Boyer (Fred Astaire Style) says, “It was not supposed to look perfect, it was supposed to look natural. It worked then, and it works now. It’s what genius and style are all about. “

[5] In Godfather II, Senator Geary’s contempt seems to be fueled as much by the mobsters “shiny suits” as their “oily hair.”

[6] “It doesn’t matter. It’s all profit. Then finally, when there’s nothing left — when you can’t borrow another buck from the bank — you bust the joint out. You light a match.” — Henry Hill, Goodfellas (Scorsese, 1990). A perfect description of our current state.

[7] Alan Watts thought highly of traditional Arab attire as being both perfect for the climate and giving the wearer an inherent dignity. Of course, he also deplored the British gentleman’s suit and tie, which Greg Johnson thinks was likely due to his lack of a good tailor; Johnson also points out that there is something rather bourgeois about “comfort,” anyway. See Greg Johnson, “The Spiritual Materialism of Alan Watts: A Review of Does It Matter?”

[8] Hulce would later win an Oscar™ for his portrayal of Mozart as a vulgar slob; Amadeus is seldom if ever remembered as another Slob vs. Snob comedy, perhaps due to the prestige of its author, Peter Schaffer, and the refusal of the Academy to recognize comedies with awards.

[9] Al Czervik: “This is the worst-looking hat I ever saw! You buy a hat like this, I’ll bet you get a free bowl of soup.” [Sees Judge Smails wearing the same hat] “It looks good on you, though.”